Friday, March 21, 2008
" when u sin against God, God is nt gonna hear ur prayer! "
you shouted to me this sentence without thinking of the consequences 9 mths ago...
and then ur dear shouted " dun try to change wad the bible says! " when i tried to say " God will still be ever faithful! "
noe wad? both ur words kept me shut against christianity for nearly 3 mths or mre.. i guess tt's when my life's in complete saddness.. i suddenly lost the path towards heaven.. i suddenly not noe wad to do when i met with problems in life... yes, jus bcos u so kindly assure me tt God is gonna turn awy his face from me...
i thank God for his faithfulness despite me shutting myself off for 3 mths or so.. God had never given up on my life despite me turning my face off him... of cos, im still a goody good christian in school... how u define good? no drinking, no smoking, no gambling, no vulgars, no cheating, being oh-so-ever-good, kind, not calculative, sharing gospel, sharing testimony.. wad mre wad mre?
one day my fren asked " hey, u still go church now? " i replied " no "... he mocked " hahaha! why? dun believe in ur god anymore? "
i was torn between two... i didnt noe wad to say... cos, its like im completely shut against christianity bcos i tot God wouldnt wan to hear my prayers ever again cos i sin against him... but yet on the other hand, i used to tell my frens how strong willed i am despite my family not being christians...
i din have much time to tink.. and so i responded " despite everyting, my love for Jesus never will change. he's still the ever faithful God. " tts the day when my life changes completely yet again...
& den, there was this semester exam tt i had to study for my microprocessor module which sadly i failed badly during common test... i failed one of my labtest too! and so, during semester exams, i studied like nobody's business... i thank God for frens like derwin & junqing... they guide me and my frens through and yes, in the end i passed!
some of my closer frens jokingly said to us during one of the nite classes " haiya... nxt semester no mre elaine in class.. mus cherish tonite's last lesson tgt... " cos i keep telling them im so afraid i will fail this module and then to retake it alone... it will be oh-so-sad...
results for tt semester was finally out the next day and my frens were asking me if im scared.. i turned to them " no! im sure God will lead me through! " & yes! i passed all my subjects during my yr 2 sem 1...
coming up is yr 2 sem 2... its like tt, during exams, after u do ur papers, u noe roughly which module u will pass better, which module u might jus pass and which one u might fail... saying tt, i seriously am so scared i might jus failed my marketing module and troubleshooting module...
18th mar was a super long day for all ecc students... i had fyp thus im in sch whole day.. everyone was saying " hope i dun receive calls frm admin office" bcos if u do, it means u've failed ur module... i too was worried... but God reminded me time and again " i'll see u through ur poly as long as u do ur best i will do the rest! "
and so, results were out! i passed all! was really happy tt i passed my marketing... there's a different when God is in ur life and when God is nobody in ur life... i had a fren whose results were always better than me, he didnt make it through this semester bcos he failed his marketing... and so, he cant graduate with us at the same time... i nearly cried when he spoke to me with his eyes all redden.. i tell u, its very sad when u fail and got to repeat modules... therefore i understand how he feels... tts when i appreciate the goodness of God even mre! cos i noe without him, i wouldnt make it through either...
God is good isnt it? tell me yes plssss...
fyp proj was amazingly difficult and alien! i remember my supervisor told me " we cant get 400Hz and now u're assign to do this proj for ur fyp"... i looked at him and smiled as i say " huh? u all cant get, i can get meh? " of cos in a polite tone... den i hear a voice saying very clearly to me " you can bcos u have Jesus! " i nearly dropped dead... God's reaction is nv too slow...
last testimony...
last fri, when i was slping, i tot of my driving yet again... i was really tired then... but i keep wanting to book my driving practice slots.. i jus off my com and den to get up again is like so troublesome even though my com's like less than three steps awy frm me.. im lazy lahs.. hehe... God spoke to me again " go n slp... tmr morning the first ting u do is to book ur slots... " it is not like u literally hear God's voice but u noe tt feeling comes frm Jesus...
so okay loh... since Jesus say go slp i listen.. i had a good goody slp tt nite.. morning was here, again i was worry tt i might not have slot so i went to on my computer the first ting i woke up... a song came to me " god will make a way where there seems to be no way, he works in ways we cannot see, he will make a way for me.. "
i clicked onto the website and to my amaze i saw sooooooooo many slots on sats and suns! its de first time ever i see so many slots on sats and suns for me to choose like nobody's business! i so wanna cry cos God is really soooo good to me... so yes, now i booked all my training slots le... most probably i can take my test this yr.. yays!
see how good Jesus is? i dun make up stories to ask u to believe in Jesus... but one things tt will never ever change my thinking ever again is tt God is ever faithful and His love towards us endures forever...
there are times when i feel like singing praises to Him, yes, like in the past when i get to serve Him... even though now i cant, he noes wads within my heart... tts all enough... as long as he sees the desire of my heart...
i owe u my life Jesus! i love you soooo... =)
to ST: i read ur blog entry on u're sick yet none of your church's youths care for u when all u need is jus a concern... i can understand how u feel... sad definately... but imagine when u're feeling so sick and all u need are jus prayers, yet a ps ( not the one closer to u ) suspecting you and telling ppl tt u're jus gaining sympathy from ppl & tt she even wans to come to my hse to check on you ( on why u didnt go church ) , will it jus be saddness tt surrounds u? i will never forget tt day... =) anyway, despite how much u dislike me, i still pray tt u'll get well soon... i've tt kind of sickness before when all i do is puke and my fever jus dun go down.. doctor even suspect i was having dengue... i was so afraid i might even die... i was tt sick last yr... and i noe how terrible it feels... so, get well soon..
the simplicity of life.
10:00 AM
